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Our little blue bundle of joy

January 1, 2014

Before I got pregnant and even in the first few weeks of pregnancy, I thought I understood what it felt like to already love my baby. I knew no matter what it looked like, no matter the gender, I knew I would love him or her more than anything. And I thought I already did!

Over the weekend we had our 3D ultrasound at 3D Miracles in Halifax. Nothing can really prepare you for the explosion of emotion one feels when that ultrasound thingy slides across your tummy for the first time, revealing your little baby that you’ve been carefully nurturing and protecting for 5 months. We haven’t had any ultrasounds during the pregnancy so this was the first time seeing the little baby. I had googled 3D ultrasounds to see what kind of detail we’d see and look at pictures of other babies but I was completely blown away when I saw baby MOVING! It was the most surreal experience the two of us have ever had.

And oh my god, it’s a boy! My tiny little baby boy was moving his head and arms and little legs. We even got to see him PEE! Though I haven’t really been able to feel major kicks yet, I know he’s moving around but to SEE him move around…WOW! Talk about instantly falling in love. There was nothing better than watching my husband watch his tiny little son — it was so moving!

I was fully prepared for a girl or a boy! We knew we just wanted a baby and gender wasn’t a big deal at all. Of course as a woman, I’d always dreamed of dressing a tiny little girl in dresses and doing her hair but to be completely honest, I couldn’t be happier to have a little miniature version of my husband! We’ve already got plans to get him mini Sperry Topsiders just like his daddy!

One of the most exciting things about having a little boy is raising him to be the kind of man I would want my daughter to marry — respectful, kind, and loving. Just like his father!

For most of the pregnancy, I’ve just been going about my business while my body carries out the extraordinary task of creating life. I definatly forget just how amazing it all really is and to have that glimpse inside my body and see that everything is just fine and dandy and there’s a little baby boy just in there kickin’ it was the greatest reminder of how incredible my body (and every other female body) really is. It’s nice to know all the nausea, back aches, and sleepless nights are all just a tiny sacrifice for my little boo. It also does wonders to help me accept my growing and changing body.

I’m now very noticeably pregnant and none of my pre-pregnancy pants fit anymore but you know what? It’s OK! I know I always knew it was all for a good reason and perfectly natural but to see that little baby boy and to know he’s doing just fine really does make it that much easier to admire my new body in the mirror.

OK enough rambling!

xoxoxox

Baby, Family, Mental Health

Dear Plum sized Baby

November 25, 2013

Dear baby,

When I first found out you were leeching life off of me, you were the size of a poppy seed and now you are a plum! Your hands are now almost big enough to hold and your face is looking more life-like every day. I find every step of your development so fascinating. For the amount of manual labour going on inside of me, I sure don’t notice you very often. Actually, let’s be clear… The last three months I knew you were there every time I hung my head over the toilet, dry heaving away or woke up craving a wheel of brie cheese. Yes, a whole wheel. But other than the odd cramp, you’re a pretty quiet house guest.

Now I feel better. I feel happy and healthy again. Hurrah for the second trimester! What’s really got me excited right now is feeling those little legs and arms thrashing around. For a while it will be just between you and me. I reckon we will share a quite a few things that are just between you and me. I feel like we already have a bond.

Just like I was for my mom, you little wee one are my source of inspiration. You have already made me a better person than I ever could have imagined. Baby, because I wanted you to have a happy and healthy mommy, I got help. I knew several years ago you were a not so distant dream and I wanted to heal my brain so I could soak you in and love every minute of our life together. You make me realize how precious life is….how fragile we are.

I already feel like I’ve made a huge mistake as a mother. In order for me to function and not be a complete emotional wreck for these nine months, I had to continue with my medication. I’m only on .5 mg a day and my doctor says she’s delivered hundreds of babies who’s moms were on much higher doses and the baby was perfectly happy and healthy… But I can’t help but worry. Like I said, you’re so fragile. Whenever I sense a possible threat, I play my fight song in my head and get all maternal.

So baby, you see I’ve weighed my options and you having a mom that can’t function is not in the cards for us. Happy moms make happy babies.

Love from,

Your extremely happy little momma

Family, Mental Health

Money, Money, Money!!

September 15, 2013

I’ve posted before about finances. Money is such a huge source of stress for so many people and I think it’s important to talk about. I’ll tell you a secret: I wasn’t always on top of my finances and budgeting like I am now. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will share a few valuable things I’ve learned through trial and error.

1. STAY ON TOP OF YOUR SPENDING!

If you aren’t constantly watching your bank account, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Back in the old days when we carried cash around and lived on cash diets, it was easier to be accountable. But with all the plastic in our lives, it can be way too easy to over-spend. There was a time when I would avoid opening up my online banking because I would rather not admit to myself that I had over spent that month.

2. BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET!

Set yourself up with a budget in order to manage your cash flow. If you bring in $2000 a month but you spend $2001, you’re over budget and it’s a slippery slope form there to debt city.

3. BE REALISTIC!

In my opinion, it is NOT realistic to set aside $50 a month for shopping or extras, if you know you enjoy shopping. There’s no need to lie to yourself…believe me, you’ll only let your self down!

4. PAY YOURSELF FIRST!

First thing’s first, deposit money into your savings! It may sting in the beginning, but you’ll get used to living without that money after a while. What not to do: tell yourself you’ll put anything left over at the end of the month in savings. Believe me, it wont be there! You’ll find something better to do with that money.

5. SIGN UP FOR MINT.COM!

If you have an Apple or Android computer or phone, you have the ability to stay on the good-finances track at your finger tips. Mint does everything you’ll need: set budgets, manage cash flow, and alert you if you’ve over spent in certain categories or are getting dangerously low on money. Mint will help you stay accountable and not have any nasty surprises when you go to pay a bill!

I hope these tips help you get on track to financial freedom! It really can be this simple.

Happy saving!

Got any penny-pinching tips? Share ’em!

Family, Mental Health

Announcing Mrs McDougall

June 4, 2013

Where have I been? You know… just off getting married.

I feel terrible about my lack of blogging but please please please forgive me.

On May 25th I married my best friend and partner in crime. He’s my guardian angel and it breaks my heart to think of where my mental health would be if he hadn’t come along and showed me how my life can change in such a dramatic and positive way. Life together is just so effortlessly easy.

Mental Health

Mental Health Monday – Holidays are Coming!

November 20, 2012

First ever “Mental Health Monday”!

The holidays are fast approaching, whether you’re ready or not! Basically a stay-at-home wife, I’ve had the ability to be ready for Christmas for weeks already. But I have nothing to be ready for. My boyfriend and I are heading to BC for Christmas on the 20th to spend the holidays with my family! OH JOY! I do love my family very much but there is a twinge of anxiety inside me that I just can’t seem to push away. The thought of two weeks of being shipped between my mom’s house and my dad’s house without my our own mode of transportation and no means of escape is enough to drive anyone bonkers. I am extremely nervous for the festivities. Alcohol, fattening treats, lack of exercise…these are all my triggers! AHHH

So I am making a bit of a plan of attack for the trip. Thank god my loving boyfriend will be there. he’s always on top of my medication schedule (thank god) and always pushing me to stay active (much to my dismay) but without him I would get lost in a cycle of self deprecation. A downward spiral filled with candy cane ice cream, bailies, and Grand Theft Auto 4 mixed in with a spattering of TOO MUCH RETAIL THERAPY! That’s how I spent last Christmas season. Just add in two boxes of wine and you’ve got the whole picture

Stay Active

We are spending 2 weeks there so we might as well get comfortable. I will be bringing my running shoes so I can keep up my training for an up coming half marathon (that’s a whole other blog post in its self!) and to keep up with my newly adopted active life style. My boyfriend and I have been spending so much time at the rec center lately and it’s been so good for our health (both physical and mental) as well as our relationship. Doing something together with a common goal is so rewarding for our relationship. Little things like high five-ing when he laps me for the third time really make me feel like we are in this together.

Eat Clean

My mom eats very clean and follows a gluten-free inspired diet just like myself. She suffers from the same mental health illnesses I do. Diet is something we can both agree on in terms of maintaining a healthy body and mind. But around the holiday times those lifestyle changes can be easily exchanged for high fat treats and sugary sweets! An extra serving of gluten-rich stuffing? YES PLEASE. So right now I am in talks with my mom to try and create some gluten free dishes to serve around the holiday season. My boyfriend and I love to cook so I hope to cook a lot for her while we are there and teach her some tricks she might not know. The student becomes the teacher, huh? Christmas doesn’t have to equal pounds gained!

Take Time Away

My boyfriend and I have planned some things to do alone while we are there. I know it will be important for both of our sanity to escape the christmas mayhem for a bit. We’ve planned a day at this mineral spa just north of my mom’s town. For $60 each we get full day access to the mineral grotto and unlimited food from the tapas bar! YUM! So Hugh Hefner! We might even get a couples massage. WE’LL SEE. After that we are planning a trip with my mom and her boyfriend up to our families cabin on the ocean and a trip up the mountain to go tubing and hang out at the chalet and sip some drinks! It’s weird to think of doing that kind of stuff with my family. The last time I went up the mountain with them I was about 14 and the bar was 100% off limits to minors!

Enjoy Every Minute

Last but not least… I need to just relax and enjoy the time with my family. I have a habit of getting all wrapped up in the details and planning that I forget to just enjoy. It’s not every day I am lucky enough to spend time with my loving family. I miss them so much. I haven’t seen my Mom since last March, if you can believe it! This has definatly been the longest stretch of time since I moved away a few years ago.

What’s your plan of attack for the holiday season?! Anything else I should try to make the holidays stress free (or at least less stressful)?