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Family, Mom and Baby

Body Anxiety: My Changing Pregnant Body

December 7, 2013

There’s a lot other women and doctors don’t tell you about pregnancy. I think if they did tell women all the gory details, no one would dare have a baby. Also the list of unpleasant body changes and emotional turmoil a woman experiences is far too long.

By far the most challenging thing I’ve had to endure so far is weight gain. I’m sure it makes me sound like a terrible mom and an awful woman but the weight gain has got to be the most depressing thing on the planet. I understand it’s for a good cause, but it’s still painful. I’ve lived my whole life trying to stave off weight gain and in one fell swoop I’m supposed to just embrace my ever-expanding waistline.

Within the first two months of pregnancy, I ballooned like a damn beached whale and I was getting comments like, “I’ve never seen someone show so soon” and “You must be having twins”, but then my waistline miraculously shrunk back down. After much googling, I realized it was completely normal for bloating within the first trimester and then for it to subside.

As of now though, none of my pre-pregnancy jeans fit and any tight t-shirts are insanely mid-drift barring. OH, and all my workout clothes look like sausage casings, so that makes it challenging to look at myself in the mirror at the gym. But it’s all for a good cause, right?

Not to mention the fact that in 2 weeks, I’m suppose to fit into my WEDDING DRESS for our second wedding party in Cuba this Christmas. All the while my mom is in my ear about her vegan, clean-eating, challenge and all the weight she’s loosing. I told her how it must being coming off her and on to me and she lectured me about how it’s going to be hard to lose the baby weight once junior is born.

When I first began this beautiful pregnancy journey, I was constantly nauseous and couldn’t stomach being in the kitchen, eating vegetables, or eating anything other than carbs without dry heaving. Now that I’m able to stomach a wider variety of things, I’m actually doing a lot better with the weight gain and I’m starting to feel it even out a bit more and stabilize. For a few weeks there I could only stomach bagels and cream cheese, popcorn, eggs on toast, and salt and vinegar chips but now my day looks like: Eggs on toast, frozen fruit and soy milk smoothies and stir fries and veggie filled pastas. I’m still not able to stomach too much meat which is fine by me. I’m taking lots of vitamins to supplement the lack of protein in my diet.

All these feelings I’ve been having have been teaching me about selflessness. This is the first time in my life I’ve been making major sacrifices for someone else. I’m very much ready for all these changes but it still doesn’t make the blow any less shocking and depressing.

PS: if I didn’t make it absolutely clear, I’m very much in love with my beautiful bundle of baby love and I wouldn’t change any of this for the world.

Baby, Family, Mental Health

Dear Plum sized Baby

November 25, 2013

dear baby

Dear baby,

When I first found out you were leeching life off of me, you were the size of a poppy seed and now you are a plum! Your hands are now almost big enough to hold and your face is looking more life-like every day. I find every step of your development so fascinating. For the amount of manual labour going on inside of me, I sure don’t notice you very often. Actually, let’s be clear… The last three months I knew you were there every time I hung my head over the toilet, dry heaving away or woke up craving a wheel of brie cheese. Yes, a whole wheel. But other than the odd cramp, you’re a pretty quiet house guest.

Now I feel better. I feel happy and healthy again. Hurrah for the second trimester! What’s really got me excited right now is feeling those little legs and arms thrashing around. For a while it will be just between you and me. I reckon we will share a quite a few things that are just between you and me. I feel like we already have a bond.

Just like I was for my mom, you little wee one are my source of inspiration. You have already made me a better person than I ever could have imagined. Baby, because I wanted you to have a happy and healthy mommy, I got help. I knew several years ago you were a not so distant dream and I wanted to heal my brain so I could soak you in and love every minute of our life together. You make me realize how precious life is….how fragile we are.

I already feel like I’ve made a huge mistake as a mother. In order for me to function and not be a complete emotional wreck for these nine months, I had to continue with my medication. I’m only on .5 mg a day and my doctor says she’s delivered hundreds of babies who’s moms were on much higher doses and the baby was perfectly happy and healthy… But I can’t help but worry. Like I said, you’re so fragile. Whenever I sense a possible threat, I play my fight song in my head and get all maternal.

So baby, you see I’ve weighed my options and you having a mom that can’t function is not in the cards for us. Happy moms make happy babies.

Love from,

Your extremely happy little momma

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Family

Strength Behind The Uniform

September 21, 2013

priscilla

Once in a while we have people come into our world and put life into perspective for us. You hear their story and their struggles and you learn the value of human life. You understand something just a little bit bigger than yourself.

My dear friend Priscilla Blake came into my life in the fall of 2012. I had just left school to take care of my health and focus on healing, when I met Priscilla at an event I helped a friend put together called “Workout For the Fallen” — an event aimed at honouring our war heroes that live and have lived in our own back yard, fighting for our freedom. Priscilla’s husband PO2 Craig Blake was one of the unfortunate ones. Craig was only a few weeks into his first tour of Afghanistan when an IED killed him and injured a fellow soldier. Craig was the first Canadian Sailor to die overseas in the war. His death came on the eve of the Navy’s 100th anniversary, a time of celebration. While the military community gathered for the celebrations in Parade Square in Halifax Nova Scotia, it was with heavy hearts we learned of Blake’s passing.

I distinctly remember hearing this news. This was my first parade with my Navy boyfriend. I had only just begun my journey as a military spouse, learning the lingo and understanding the protocol. But I understood what this meant. This was huge. This was earth shattering. For the first time I second guessed my lifestyle choice. Could I handle that news? Could anyone?

Priscilla Blake and her family are “the strength behind the uniform” personified. She handles life with grace and dignity, protecting and empowering her two brave children. Her entrance into my world has completely changed my outlook on life. Without knowing it, she’s taught me about what it means to be a military wife. I can confidently say Priscilla leaves a foot print on everyone she meet’s heart. I am so honoured to have her in my life and I treasure our friendship.

craig

Saturday afternoon, the community gathered at the former Montebello Park in Dartmouth for the renaming in honour of Craig. The park will forever be known as “PO2 Craig Blake Memorial Park” and as one of the speakers so eloquently put it, children will forever ask their parents who Craig was, when they visit the park. They’ll learn about the ultimate sacrifice he made for our country and they’ll learn about the Blake family who remained the strength behind the uniform.

Stephanie @ Mommyzoid

Family

Money money money…

September 15, 2013

5 ways

I’ve posted before about finances. Money is such a huge source of stress for so many people and I think it’s important to talk about. I’ll tell you a secret: I wasn’t always on top of my finances and budgeting like I am now. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will share a few valuable things I’ve learned through trial and error.

1. STAY ON TOP OF YOUR SPENDING!

If you aren’t constantly watching your bank account, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Back in the old days when we carried cash around and lived on cash diets, it was easier to be accountable. But with all the plastic in our lives, it can be way too easy to over-spend. There was a time when I would avoid opening up my online banking because I would rather not admit to myself that I had over spent that month.

2.  BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET!

Set yourself up with a budget in order to manage your cash flow. If you bring in $2000 a month but you spend $2001, you’re over budget and it’s a slippery slope form there to debt city.

3. BE REALISTIC!

In my opinion, it is NOT realistic to set aside $50 a month for shopping or extras, if you know you enjoy shopping. There’s no need to lie to yourself…believe me, you’ll only let your self down!

4. PAY YOURSELF FIRST!

First thing’s first, deposit money into your savings! It may sting in the beginning, but you’ll get used to living without that money after a while. What not to do: tell yourself you’ll put anything left over at the end of the month in savings. Believe me, it wont be there! You’ll find something better to do with that money.

5. SIGN UP FOR MINT.COM!

If you have an Apple or Android computer or phone, you have the ability to stay on the good-finances track at your finger tips. Mint does everything you’ll need: set budgets, manage cash flow, and alert you if you’ve over spent in certain categories or are getting dangerously low on money. Mint will help you stay accountable and not have any nasty surprises when you go to pay a bill!

I hope these tips help you get on track to financial freedom! It really can be this simple.

Happy saving!

Got any penny-pinching tips? Share ‘em!

Stephanie @ Mommyzoid

 

Family, Mental Health

Money, Money, Money!!

September 15, 2013

image

I’ve posted before about finances. Money is such a huge source of stress for so many people and I think it’s important to talk about. I’ll tell you a secret: I wasn’t always on top of my finances and budgeting like I am now. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will share a few valuable things I’ve learned through trial and error.

1. STAY ON TOP OF YOUR SPENDING!

If you aren’t constantly watching your bank account, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Back in the old days when we carried cash around and lived on cash diets, it was easier to be accountable. But with all the plastic in our lives, it can be way too easy to over-spend. There was a time when I would avoid opening up my online banking because I would rather not admit to myself that I had over spent that month.

2.  BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET!

Set yourself up with a budget in order to manage your cash flow. If you bring in $2000 a month but you spend $2001, you’re over budget and it’s a slippery slope form there to debt city.

3. BE REALISTIC!

In my opinion, it is NOT realistic to set aside $50 a month for shopping or extras, if you know you enjoy shopping. There’s no need to lie to yourself…believe me, you’ll only let your self down!

4. PAY YOURSELF FIRST!

First thing’s first, deposit money into your savings! It may sting in the beginning, but you’ll get used to living without that money after a while. What not to do: tell yourself you’ll put anything left over at the end of the month in savings. Believe me, it wont be there! You’ll find something better to do with that money.

5. SIGN UP FOR MINT.COM!

If you have an Apple or Android computer or phone, you have the ability to stay on the good-finances track at your finger tips. Mint does everything you’ll need: set budgets, manage cash flow, and alert you if you’ve over spent in certain categories or are getting dangerously low on money. Mint will help you stay accountable and not have any nasty surprises when you go to pay a bill!

I hope these tips help you get on track to financial freedom! It really can be this simple.

Happy saving!

Got any penny-pinching tips? Share ‘em!

Stephanie @ Mommyzoid

Family, Mental Health

Announcing Mrs McDougall

June 4, 2013

Where have I been? You know… just off getting married.

I feel terrible about my lack of blogging but please please please forgive me.

On May 25th I married my best friend and partner in crime. He’s my guardian angel and it breaks my heart to think of where my mental health would be if he hadn’t come along and showed me how my life can change in such a dramatic and positive way. Life together is just so effortlessly easy.

Continue Reading…

Family

Money Woes

January 9, 2013

A huge source of anxiety for me is finances. Until today I haven’t been able to even open up my bank account to see the post-christmas damage. I’m awful, I know.

Being financially stable and secure is so important to me. It’s something my mom always prided herself on and she passed it along to me. She taught me the joys of saving and keeping a nest egg for those rainy days and even the sunny days.

You’ve probably seen this photo in the last week and a half — it’s been floating around the internet.

52-week-challenge-photoI proposed to my boyfriend that we try and do this but in reverse so it gets easier as the year goes on and it grows some interest (not much, but it’s better than nothing!).

So far we have $206 in our trip fund thanks to this little challenge! It’s even helped me get through some impulse shopping…impulses! I saw a Keurig on sale for $80 and I thought… that’s two weeks of trip money I wouldn’t have to worry about… So I didn’t buy it! HUZZUH.

For me, money stresses me out. The more saving I can do now, the more fun it will be to fork over thousands of dollars for a vacation to a sunny tropical destination next winter!

Oh money…

Do you have a similar type of challenge for yourself? How do you talk yourself out of impulse buys? Share it!

 

Stephanie @ Mommyzoid